A thin thread.

A friend of mine recently blogged about the issue of spending too much time at the office rather than spending the time with family and friends. Consequently, relationships have suffered. One day you find that your marriage, your friends and even family are hanging on by a thin thread. We all know that relationships take time. We have to consciously call people, get together with people, hang out with your kids and go on a date with your spouse regularly or we no longer have much of a relationship with those people.

This isssue came up for me and Steve at the Holiday party on Saturday. The owner of these sixteen bank branches and his business partner of twenty plus years were honored for their achievements and celebrating upcoming retirement. Throughout each persons speech congratualting and/or thanking these two men, a theme reoccured during each part of the evening. The theme was that these men made huge sacrifices to have the time to build a large business like this one. They each thanked their families for allowing them to have the time to work so hard. They spent long hours at the office, driving to banks, at meetings, etc. I leaned over to Steve and told him that I won't be having a party like this in forty years. I won't ever retire from being a mom or raising my children. I hope, to, that Steve won't be thanking me in forty years for raising our family without him so he could persue "earthly" goals.

Fortunately, as I suspected, Steve was with me 100%. He has no desire to see his family only an hour or two at night and a few more on the weekends. He desires to retire now so he can be with us all the time! Actually, living in a small town has helped him reach his goal of putting family first. He can do a job he enjoys and is gifted at, but he can be home for lunch and does not spend precious time commuting. Because of that he can invest his time and talents into raising children that know him and know that family comes first before anything else. Steve works because he enjoys it and is called to provide for his family, but he doesn't get caught up climbing the ladder to becoming a millionare or a mega successfull businessman.

He told me again last night as we layed in bed..."At the end of life, no one wishes they had spent more time at the office." The pursuit of earthly acheivements leaves people so empty, in my opinion. I was sad for these men of the bank that did acheive so much in the business world, but sacrificed what truly is the most important thing, relationships with others. I ended the night feeling sorry for these two (actually, three. The son of the owner is in the same position). I would rather acheive great things with my family and for them.

My friend, who blogged about this very realization in her own life, is a great employee. She used to be my boss and I was a terrible employee when I compared myself to her. She sacrificed her desires to be with family or friends to be there for her clients and her job responsibilities. I, on the other hand, liked my job, but liked time with Steve better. I was incapable of making sacrifices for my job's sake. I guess that is good only to a certain extent. I have found that you can't have both in this world. You can't be completely devoted to your job or your family will suffer, and you can't be completely devoted to your family or you would never go to work! In the end, each person has to find the balance that works for them. I am happy that my friend is finding the balance. I hope that each of you do as well. You will seek after and acheive your priority. Make sure that it is what you truly want.