Prayer

I have decided I cannot do this alone. I realize that waking up early to read my Bible and spend time in prayer would really help me as a mother. Spending time with God helps in being patient with a two year old.

I have lost control several times this week with Evie. She says, "No.", to everything proceeded by doing exactly what we told her not to do. She is a very bright (brite? Can you tell she doesn't get it from her mother?) girl and does well with reasoning. However, reasoning is not something I am able to do when she is screaming on the floor because I would not let her eat a cookie for breakfast. So, I yell at her to knock it off.

Today I just had an all out power struggle with her to get her to take a nap (or at least stay in her room quietly) without me laying with her the entire time. This is not the mother I want to be and I don't want her to repeat my behaviors to others or learn they are acceptable. I need prayer for this to happen. I have to spend time with God each day to get my mind on track and direct my actions towards Evelyn with love as the intent.

We can't continue like this. I have got to take a chill pill and relax. I have to reset my mind. I am utterly exhausted.

Funny side note that is related...I attended a Yoga class with my client on Wed. night. I don't particularly like Yoga. Well, due to my current state of mental exhaustion I loved Yoga. Give me more! The room was dimly lit, there was beautiful, calming music playing, there was stretching, there was lavender oil pressed on my shoulders and there was quiet. I realized that I needed an hour of distraction and removal from the "everyday" to re-group. Too bad it didn't last long!