We were getting ready to head to MOPS and swing by a friends house to drop off a frozen meal. All I wanted was for Evie and Naomi to choose an outfit that was different than the one they wear every single day. For Evie that is a Hello Kitty shirt and dark blue jeans and belt. Naomi was fine with the request because I told them both they could change back into their favorite outfits when we got back home, but for MOPS we would wear something nice.
I helped Evie brainstorm other outfit options, made sure most everything was clean, and gave her two hours of lead time to get dressed. It ended up with me taking the two other kids out to the car and Evie screaming and crying, half dressed, from the stairs not to leave her. We were late because Evie refused to wear anything else. Even the socks she agreed to put on required that she take off all her clothes in order to pull them up high on her leg as she likes to do.
I thought that I was asking something reasonable. Shouldn't a child be able to obey a simple request by their mother? I forget what she ended up wearing. She yelled from upstairs several times, "I'm changing my whole outfit and not wearing anything different!" I was left with one option. Time outs, yelling, threatening to cancel a later play date with her best friend, and threatening to leave whether she was dressed or not did not do anything to change her mind.
Does anyone have a tip or suggestion? I know better than to get into control battles with Evie. I will never win. Never. She has been that way since day one when she refused as a little baby to sleep on her own in her crib. Any of you who knew us at the time would agree she was a stubborn mule and it was a battle we couldn't win. She would cry for 45 minutes straight.
I think that we are in a new phase with Evie. I just have to remember how to not get wrapped up in a control battle. I get really mad and it doesn't solve anything. I need to keep my cool. Talk calmly. Pick my battles more wisely.
No comments:
Post a Comment