Aching

Lately, I have been quite sad. My soul is broken by things I cannot explain. I am blessed and also burdened by the blogs that I have been introduced to. One particular blog that will stay with me forever and leave me with unanswered questions to our God is about Luke Sponberg. Luke was only ten weeks old when he died of SIDS. He left his parents, older sister and many family members in deep grief. His father blogs at www.thelukesponbergfoundation.blogspot.com.

I cannot read about Luke and not weep. I feel as if I have lost my son. I don't understand God and this great pain. There are no explanations. No good reasons. As I was reminded by the McMama blog, God uses all things for His glory. I know He is doing that with the Sponberg family and Luke's life, but I don't really think that God's glory needs to be shown through something like this. But, something like this is so intimate and inescapable that we see God's power deeply in a time like this. I KNOW that God is caring for the Sponberg family as they grieve. He grieves with them.

I am also in termoil about my feelings surrounding the diagnosis of SIDS. I often say to Steve that if adults just died in their sleep for no reason people would be mad and family members would demand a reason from doctors, etc. With babies, society seems okay with letting them die without answers.

Recently, I read through a pamphlet about toxic household chemicals and how they harm our children. One section addressed SIDS. The audthor writes,

"In the first book I wrote, back in 1984, I mentioned a study in which formaldehyde was implicated as a possible contributing factor in SIDS...Among the symptoms known to be associated with formaldehyde exposure are swelling of the throat, respiratory problems, bronchial constriction, and asthma attacks, any one of which could cause a baby to stop breathing during sleep."

He comments that formaldehyde-based finish on bedding and the formaldehyde in common cleaners could be contributors. I also think that the direct exposure to formaldehyde in vaccines is a major player in this game. Luke was ten weeks old. I would bet a lot of money that he had recently received his two months vaccines and that the vaccine ingredients were the cause of his death.

Of coures there is no real way to prove this theory except to read multiple accounts from parents who feel that vaccines had lead to the death of their child. Many SIDS cases occured shortly after vaccination.

I am bothered by this thought. If this is true, then Luke's death was "preventable". I do know and believe that God is in control. He has allowed Luke's death for some currently unknown reasons. Luke's parents made the best choices for Luke and followed doctors recommendations and are in no way at fault. But, I can't help but think that vaccines played a role in Luke's life and the lives of countless other children.

What do you think? What do you think causes SIDS? Why do completely healthy children stop breathing in their sleep?

If vaccines or bed sheets or household cleaners are the cause, I don't want to know of one more child who dies from SIDS. We should take action and figure this out.

To the Sponberg family: No matter what the cause, God has allowed Luke to be with you for just a short time. You have an amazing faith and understand and find comfort in God and His truth. No matter what the cause of Luke's death is, it is not okay. It is not okay that he died. I want him to be in your arms right now. I want to remove the terrible agony and pain you feel every day and every moment of your lives. I want this to have never happened. I carry some of your burden and pray daily that God would be near to you and carry you through. This is all I can offer you.