And the baby makes 5

When Evie was born I took for granted that I would have a healthy baby. I was relatively unaware of some of the issues that pregnant women can have and issues that jeopardized a baby's health. What I expected when we became pregnant with Evie was the "norm"; get pregnant, have a baby, take the baby home and watch it grow up.

Since having Evie I have hung out with a few more mothers and heard stories about infant loss and fertility struggles. I also began to read blogs...a few of them were brought to my attention for the purpose of praying for the family/baby. Some of the blogs I began to read during my pregnancy with Isaiah brought home the reality that some babies don't live to be brought home from the hospital or their cry to be heard by their parents. Some of the babies I will hold in my heart forever are Audrey Caroline, Mamie, Reese and Luke.

Towards the end of my pregnancy with Isaiah Steve could tell when I had been reading some of these blogs. He could feel my paranoia about my own pregnancy and the baby inside. Would we experience loss? Would our baby not make it to live outside the womb? I felt such a heavy burden to make sure that all was okay with the baby and that I did all that I could to bring this baby into this world healthy and alive.

When I was in labor with Isaiah it was a blessed labor. I was able to labor with the knowledge that my child would be born alive, that I could take him/her home and care for them. I was thankful for every second of the experience.

And so, with that on my mind, I think of every moment with Isaiah and with the girls as an unbelievable blessing. It could be so different. I am thankful for the spit-up, the every two hour feedings (around the clock), the crying, the fighting (the girls) and the everyday monotony.