This Christmas...

I would like a mahogany office desk. One that fills up a room and has a place for everything an executive would need to complete the task at hand. My desk would be situated in a room that reminds me of my purpose; a place that visually reminds me of all my professional accomplishments, my past successes and future goals. There would be a door across from the majestic desk that would open and close as needed throughout my day just as the door to the office of an executive would do. When the pressure was on to complete a stated goal, as given by the boss, I would close the door to my office and plug away to get the job done. People may come and go as needed until the final day when the task would be completed. A feeling of relief and accomplishment would be felt and maybe it would call for a little celebration.

However, the line of work that I am in does not work quite the same as the corporate world. I don't have an office with a door that is mine to open and close at my choosing. I don't even have a desk. I set my important papers and supplies I use for my job on the kitchen counter, the floor of my bedroom closet, my purse, and various drawers around my house. I often feel very disorganized because I don't have a set location for all the items I need to do my job well. My job is not confined to an office or a building that I can come and go from during working hours. I live and work in the same environment.

When it is the lunch hour I look around and instead of seeing co-workers who chat with me about heading to the local restaurant to grab a bite to eat I see three sets of eyes staring at me to provide for them the food they need to live each day. When I sit at the table to eat my lunch that I have prepared I lean over and pick-up the sippy cup on the floor or break apart another piece of food from my plate for the hungry eaters sitting near me. If I sit for more than two minutes before my lunch company is finished I feel satisfied and move on to the next item on our agenda whether I am full or not.

Instead of looking down at my large desk calendar to begin work on the next item I can check of my list before the day is done I follow a little one into the bathroom to assist with the necessary. Then I might head to the living room to watch a magic show that is being presented. When the sun starts to set I look at the clock and begin to pack up my things. I clean-up my office from the days work and begin to prepare for the evening activities. Instead of leaving my office and heading home I open the fridge and dig out food for supper. Dad will be home soon and with him comes the news of the world outside the door of my office. He is my co-worker that assists me in the tasks of my job.

I wish that when I open my desk drawer that I would find a job description complete with the overall objectives of my position. I wish I had a boss that would come in and out of my office giving me tasks to do and providing direction for my overall purpose. I wish I could measure accomplishment meaningful tasks being completed rather than the ordinary being done each day. Because I am self-employed and work from my home I am the boss and I don't have to commute to work. My job tends to get tedious. My overall objectives can't be measured on a weekly basis and are not presented to a group of co-workers that give me praise and encouragement for a job well done.

There is no satisfaction in grocery shopping. There is no end to the daily tasks that I must accomplish for my job. I cannot close the door to my office and leave it behind to take that much needed vacation. I don't celebrate having a three day weekend or an upcoming holiday break because I am always at my job. When I do get away I feel guilty that I should be in my office plugging away at the next task on my list. Because if I am not doing my job then I have asked someone else to do it for me while I am away.

I cannot measure success by the praise and accolades from colleagues or receiving a job promotion and a bonus check. My performance is not reviewed regularly and discussed by a person in authority. I am the authority for my job and the only one that can review my performance and make changes if necessary.

My children are my work and it is, in fact, a job that is what I have been training my whole life to do. I have received the highest promotion possible. I am in charge of three little lives. I present my work each day to others as they interact with my children. I work knowing that I am eventually working myself out of a job. The bonus check that I will receive will be given to me by my children when they leave the nest and live a successful life away from my direct care.

My retirement package will be visiting them and caring for them on the side-lines of their life. My job will always be with me as are most professions when done out of love and not obligation. My office door will always be open and on the walls will remain my accomplishments that reveal to others what my career was made of...pictures of people because that is what line of work I am in. Others may not know exactly what went on from day to day, but within my children the stories will be told, both good and bad. I just hope that I get a retirement party where my kids stand up and tell me that I did my job well.

A nice mahogany desk would be nice, none-the-less, to remind me each day that I am a professional; I do use skills and my job matters. The ordinary would seem to blend less with the extraordinary. For I have received the highest honors. I have been selected to be the one and only mother to my three children. A desk would be nice to remind me of that honor and to set my priorities straight as I begin each week and look down on my calendar to see the ordinary, but to remember the extraordinary purpose of it all.